About AndrzejL


How to lose 7mbps of download speed in one simple step aka. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM EIR IRELAND!

This is a re-post from here: https://andrzejl.eu:30303/wordpress/2016/09/09/how-to-lose-7mbps-of-download-speed-in-one-simple-step-aka-stay-the-fuck-away-from-eir-ireland/
Some people could not access the original post due to “security settings”.


The story continues.

After many many hours of fighting Eir Ireland – success. I got my 25/5 mbps speeds back… I must be happy right? Wrong…

“Oh my God… He is complaining again! What the fuck is wrong this time?”

I am glad you’ve asked. Well. I signed up for broadband only account. No landline. €40 for the first 6 months. €45 from there on.

6 months have passed – I get a letter. “We are happy to inform you – we have increased your bill by €5 per month so instead of paying €45 as we previously assured you you would – you will be paying €50… HOORAY! Oh yeah and we also now have 24/7 customer support.”

Fuck you Eir Ireland. Fuck you. After everything I’ve been thru – this is how you fucking treat me? So I called loyalty department and asked is this how they treat all the customers and I asked how can they do this and sleep at night. Quinn – I think this is how you spell her name – listened and after a while she offered a special promo to me. “If you add a landline to your account you will actually pay €5 less…”. Fine I said. But will it change anything else? Internet speed. Any other hidden costs? No? Super! Bring it on. Naive stupid me… “Technician will have to gain access to your apartment.” Sure! Why not. I will be paying €45 as agreed. 18 months contract. No changes. Great!

One day (maybe one week ago) I called my wife from work, during the call – doorbell. Wife says “Eir technician to install landline.” Ok. Whatever.

I came back home and something was fishy right away. Internet seemed slower…

Checked speeds – instead of 25/5 mbps I am getting 18/5… Arrgh. I said to myself maybe it needs to properly set itself as it did before. Will leave it for now.

One week later (today) I checked again…


I also checked router xDSL stats…

VDSL Training Status: Showtime
Mode: VDSL2 Annex B
VDSL Profile: Profile 17a
Traffic Type: PTM Mode
Link Uptime: 5 days: 12 hours: 35 minutes
VDSL Port Details Upstream Downstream
Line Rate: 5.117 Mbps 18.430 Mbps
Actual Net Data Rate: 5.118 Mbps 18.431 Mbps
Trellis Coding: ON ON
SNR Margin: 10.3 dB 19.1 dB
Actual Delay: 0 ms 0 ms
Transmit Power: 7.1 dBm 9.8 dBm
Receive Power: -8.9 dBm -15.7 dBm
Actual INP: 29.0 symbols 29.0 symbols
Total Attenuation: 16.2 dB 25.5 dB
Attainable Net Data Rate: 6.018 Mbps 34.076 Mbps

Look at this part:

Line Rate: 5.117 Mbps 18.430 Mbps
Actual Net Data Rate: 5.118 Mbps 18.431 Mbps

It usually said 5.117 Mbps 25.xxx Mbps.

So I called the 24/7 broadband support and asked for the profile to be changed to 30/6. They cannot. My line is not capable of 25/5 max is 18/5.

I told them – I am living in the same house for 3.5 years. I was getting up to 27/5.5 speeds before. How can they just change the speeds like that?


“I don’t know… Maybe if you call billing department in the morning they can help. I don’t even have the option to change to anything above 18/5”

I am sooo sick and tired of those bastards… Incompetent motherfuckers. Bunch of cretins. Horde of morons. I hate you all. I will make sure not a single one from my friends / family will EVER sign up with you. As soon as the fucking 18 months will be over (maybe sooner – fuck the early cancellation fee) I am moving to another provider. You can kiss my big white ass you cock-sucking assholes. I will dip my cheeks in bacon and cabbage so you can taste a bit of home food while you’re at it. Find a forest fire and die in it.

To be continued altho I am not sure if I can be arsed to call them again. I am so sick and tired – I feel like puking every time I think of Eir Ireland.




Quick update… and a couple of WTFs…

This is a re-post from here: https://andrzejl.eu:30303/wordpress/2016/04/02/quick-update-and-a-couple-of-wtfs/
Some people could not access the original post due to “security settings”.

So just a “quick” update…

Like I said I gave them a week to get stuff activated and tested the speed.


Upload – okish. Download – less than half of what I should be getting. Yes I am testing it over LAN… Like that matters… My wifi is 300mbps so…

Anyroad. I called them on Wednesday the 30th of March, waited and waited finally got thru to the rep. I was told they cannot change my profile because my e-fibre is not activated yet. It will go active on the 05th of April 2016. I am a patient guy. I will call them on the 06th of April 2016 again.

And now the series of WTFs…

My ex-flatmate called about 2 weeks ago and asked if we could send the old router to:

Free post
eir logistics
Cragg Avenue
Dublin 22

He said that he just called the magic 1901 number and was told that this is the place to send (return) the router to. Its free.

I said no problem but I won’t be able to do it this week I will do so the next week… and since (unlike eir) I am reliable, organized and dependable – I had the router ready on Thursday morning. I was going to send it the next day (Friday the 01st April 2016).

I had it double wrapped in the bubble wrap.


I’ve placed flatmate’s details and a little note inside so that the recipient knew where the router came from.



I had it properly addressed. The address was weather-proofed.


Took me all bout 5 minutes before work on Thursday… but I had a hunch… I thought “Is this address correct? Check the address with @eircare on Twitter… Just to be sure.” So I wrote to them just before leaving for work. And sure… The reply was a WTF…


This is exactly what I have the biggest problem with. Eir representatives are not being trained properly. They are not being told about the latest updates. There is a MASSIVE communication problem in that company. When you call them they do whatever they need to do to “put you thru to the…”. Its not their problem that you have a problem or are looking for the information. Their problem is a daily quota. They cannot spend to much time with one customer. Their goal is to keep the slave-drivers like “the manager Lee” happy. One department tells you one thing, the other department is telling you something else. No information exchange. Outdated information. Misinformation. BLOODY NIGHTMARE!

I’ve contacted ex-flatmate. He will give them a call next week but this is definitely a WTF moment.

Another WTF moment… Have you ever visited eir community / forum? They present you with the most popular threads in the header of the page…


You can also choose to view the most recent ones…


Read the thread titles… Do you see a patter here?… WTF…

And the final WTF is… Friday the 01st of April 2016… I’ve received 2 letters from eir. Each with different account number. One starting with 9 the other with 2. Both dated 24th March 2016… both “signed” (more like printed) by the same person. I called 1901, got thru to a fella who told me that my residential account on the old system is still waiting to be closed… while the residential account on the new system is active already. Old account will be deactivated on the 05th of April 2016 and I will receive “the closing bill”… I told him that I already paid (overpaid) for the April when I paid my massive Business account €130 bill. He said that this is great and that I will definitely be refunded for the overpayment for that period… I said that I am worried about getting a double bill. He said that such thing WILL NOT happen. Yet another reason to give them a call on the 06th of April… WTF…

That’s it for now. To be continued…


1.5 hours of waiting but I finally have some progress…

This is a re-post from here: https://andrzejl.eu:30303/wordpress/2016/03/23/1-5-hours-of-waiting-but-i-finally-have-some-progress/
Some people could not access the original post due to “security settings”.

Its been only circa 1.5 hours since my last post but there is a progress.

I rang 1901 after finally getting my food intake sorted. Hot dinner. Nice… I had an idea. Instead of choosing 3 I chose 2 from the main menu – faults. I was connected instantly. I asked to be transfered to the Loyalty department. I was waiting maybe 10 minutes but finally I got through to Liam.

Liam was able to access Daniel’s note. He was also able to assist me with the following:

– moving to a new system account
– providing me with new system account number
– setting up security question on my new account
– setting me up with 30 / 6 e-fibre account
– few other minor details.

I’ve signed up for standalone e-fibre broadband. I was told that I will pay €40 including VAT per first 4 months and then €45 including VAT after that. I was told that my speed should increase over the next few days. Then I asked about my bill. Since I already paid nearly €130 to eir for the business account (March – April period) and now I am not on a business account I was curious if I should get part of my money back… Liam credited my account with €30… which was nice.

Thanks Liam from Loyalty department. It was a pleasure to talk to you.

Now… I think I have the business / residential account thing sorted. I will wait for my next bill and see if I get it double / tripple – if not – I am good.

Now that this is done its time to concentrate on the speed issue but that’s not a job for this week’s Andrzej. I will allow next week’s Andrzej to deal with this. Few reasons. I want the new system account to get properly established and I want the e-fibre order to go thru so that my account is fully “e-fibred”. I think 7 days should be plenty. Will check my speed a week from today and I will call them if its not in the region of 30 mbps download / 6 mbps upload.



Disappointing… AS FUCK!!!

This is a re-post from here: https://andrzejl.eu:30303/wordpress/2016/03/23/disappointing-as-fuck/
Some people could not access the original post due to “security settings”.

Its 18:21 on Wednesday. Waited entire lunch break for the phone call from Daniel from Loyalty (sic!) department. Nothing. Dissapointed… Thought he would be one of the good guys. Anyway. Maybe there was a reason. Maybe he was off today. Maybe he is sick. Shit happens.

More shit happened later. I came back home around 17:50 and decided to give 1901 a call. I waited and waited and waited to be connected to the customer service representative. Finally after maybe 15 – 20 minutes someone picked up. Very nice guy – didn’t catch his name. I explained the story with Daniel shortly. I told him that there should be a note on my account that will basically tell him what to do next… He could not access it because its a note from another department. WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT EIR YOU STUPID STUPID STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS?! Why is a note from one department not accessible to another one?! Anyway… I sighed… calmed myself down and explained THE WHOLE STORY to this guy yet again. He told me “No problem we can transfer you to the new system and put you up for the e-fibre but I need to transfer you to one of my collegues…”. And the music again… for another 10 minutes… and then? “We are sorry but we are experiencing difficulties…” beeep beeep beeep “Call ended…” FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…

Lack of words to describe the feeling of hanging on the fucking phone for nearly 3 quarters of an hour just to get dropped…

Thanks again Eir…

To be continued.


48 hours later… Eir Ireland related frustration continuous… AND a diamond in the pig shit…

This is a re-post from here: https://andrzejl.eu:30303/wordpress/2016/03/18/48-hours-later-eir-ireland-related-frustration-continuous-and-a-diamond-in-the-pig-shit/
Some people could not access the original post due to “security settings”.


It’s been 2 days since my pleasant exchange of words with Lee – manager at Eir’s 1901 helpline.

9:25 in the morning, I am at work and I got an e-mail that a private message awaits me at the Eir forum. Turns out that one of the moderators or admins did not like my thread because I used a word bastard in the title of my post…

I replied promptly…


Now… Was I a bit harsh? Sure… Did I lied? No…


The forum is constantly being a massive flood of spam. I counted 15 messages like this over the weekend. You may say “Oh but it was St. Paddy’s day – staff wasn’t there to delete the messages… First – this screenshot was taken at 18:05 on Friday… second – there are mechanisms that block spammers that can be activated. I am a forum owner / administrator. Never had a single spammer on it… Registration approval. Simply not allowing users to post links until they have posted at least 3 posts. Captcha puzzle, that a user must solve before he can post his first 3 posts. Normal users are almost not affected. Spammers keep away.

Later while at work I’ve decided to call the 1901, give them the order number I received from Lee and set up the residential account. I ran around 10:45 during my tea break. I spoke to a guy from business helpline who told me that I am no longer a business account holder and I need to be transferred to the residential support. I was on hold for 3 – 5 minutes and I got connected to Patrice. Patrice told me that I am not a residential account holder and that I need to speak to business support… I was on hold for another 2 – 3 minutes and I spoke to a person from business service who basically laughed at the residential support team then told me to wait and transferred me to a guy from the residential support team – Rakesh. Rakesh told me that before he can do anything more time must pass because the changes that Lee applied “did not went thorough yet” and I need to call them back on Monday. Also I was told that my residential account does not have the e-fibre on it so first they need to check if my line is capable of running e-fibre and then they will have to send technician to my house to get the e-fibre connected. The price of e-fibre will be €45 including vat per month. Not more not less. I tried long and hard to explain that I have the e-fibre / e-fibre F2000 modem at home right now but Rakesh kept insisting that if I already have e-fibre then what do I want from him. Later I’ve figured out what happened. Lee has ceased my business account. This caused my account number to change. The old account had e-fibre on it. New account that Lee created had ordinary broadband on it. Basically Rakesh was unable to help me. I thanked him and disconnected as my tea break was over. I had to go back to work.

I’ve decided to wait till after work to give the Eir guys another call. My conversation with Lee took place around 16:20 – 16:35 – I thought that maybe after full 48 hours will pass I will be able to get something done today. I rang the 1901 around 16:30 today and got thru to Kevin. Kevin listened to my story, I gave him the order number, the telephone number and both old and new account numbers, I was told it’s a residential support thing and he will transfer me. Then I got thru to Rakesh. Rakesh told me that it’s a business support thing – “You need to speak to business team and tell them to transfer your account to residential before I can do anything”. I was put on hold and got thorough to Alice. Alice listened to me for the first 30 seconds and then either she disconnected me or line dropped…

I have then noticed the reply on my Eir community forum… Replies like that just make me feel worse… She obviously didn’t read my post because by then she would know that I don’t give a flying fuck about her “being sorry”. I replied and…


… I called the 1901 again. This time I spoke to a guy called Ian or Kean… Not sure. I explained the whole situation yet again. I gave him all the info he needed. I then explained that I called few minutes ago and that I was being transferred from one person to another and what those people told me… He said that he will take care of it. He will call the residential support in my name and explain to them what’s been happening and then they will be forced to help me. I was on hold for few minutes and then I spoke to Ray. Ray had no idea of what has been going on. No one talked to him. I am just another customer. Ray was polite, listened to me and then told me that my account is a business account and that I have an ordinary broadband and not e-fibre. I was being a bit harsh while chatting to Ray – he insisted he was right and I insisted that he was wrong. You will understand my surprise when HE FINALLY UNDERSTOOD what was happening… He said that in order to undo this mess I need to speak with someone from Loyalty department. I was on hold again. This time I got thru to Daniel. And now shocker… No. Really. Daniel listened to me patiently, then checked something and said “You’re on a normal broadband. I will need to test your line and send technician to install e-fibre”. At this moment I said “No no no no no no NO!”… and I have explained some more details to Daniel. Daniel got slightly irritated – I cannot blame him I was a bit unpleasant… but his phone manners were still perfect. He LISTENED to what I said. Asked to put me on hold and after few minutes he came back and said “yes – I can see that you are actually using e-fibre – but it’s very weird because you’re still on the old system and you have 2 account numbers – both are starting with 9”. Now I knew that Daniel did actually checked something. He was correct. He actually bothered to look deeper and uncover the truth. Daniel offered to transfer me to the new system. He told me that the whole “transferring process” will be painless and I won’t even notice it. He told me that if I stayed with the old system I will be billed bi-monthly €36.64 including VAT (€29.79 excluding VAT) for each month. If I will move to the new system I will be able to avail on some new promotions and so on but the e-fibre broadband alone will cost me €45 including VAT. I asked to be moved. New system was mentioned to me several times so far. I know that Eir is moving everyone to this “new system” anyway and that it is suppose to be easier to use for the support and (this is what I am hoping for) Eir will finally be able to solve this entire mess they call “a company”. Next few minutes I was back on hold (I was praying that the line didn’t drop at this point as Daniel asked that I stayed online as he needs some details from me…). When he came back, Daniel told me that what was done so far was:

a) I was transferred from ceased business account to residential account on old system
b) I was transferred from residential account on old system to the residential account on new system (I just hope I won’t end up with 3 bills – one for each of those account numbers…)
c) All the bells and whistles on my account were cancelled (calls forwarding etc.)

Daniel said that this is as much as he can do for me today. 24 hours must pass for all the changes to apply before he can apply e-fibre to my new account. He gave me two options. He will leave a note on the system for the next person and I can call Eir 1901 on Monday OR he will call me between 13:00 and 14:00 on Wednesday. I chose the latter and also asked to leave the note on the system just in case he couldn’t reach me on Wednesday. I am sticking with this guy. I thanked him several times (still not enough I think). This guy should get a golden star and a freakin raise. Polite, great telephone manners AND he actually knows what he is doing and how to listen. He understood that my harshness at the beginning was a result of frustration gathered over the last two months of being a pushover for the Eir customer support people. Seriously… Give this guy a raise. He is a diamond in the pig shit. One of a few. One of a few that didn’t say that they were sorry that this happened to me and that actually helped.

There is a hope. A little one – but still. I believe that Daniel will call me on Wednesday and that he will sort this issue once and for all for me.

I will write some more if / when that happens.

To be continued.


I apologize sincerely to Eir Ireland for being such a bastard of a customer… I don’t think it will repeat itself in the future.

This is a re-post from here: https://andrzejl.eu:30303/wordpress/2016/03/16/i-apologize-sincerely-to-eir-ireland-for-being-such-a-bastard-of-a-customer-i-dont-think-it-will-repeat-itself-in-the-future/

Some people could not access the original post due to “security settings”.

Good evening… Well it was evening when I started writing this. Now its a late night. Almost midnight.

I was always one of those people that was defending Eir Ireland when I’ve heard it being criticized… I had my 25 mbps download and 6 mbps upload speed and I was happy. I am not anymore and I am about to write about my recent adventures with this major Irish ISP.

It’s a day before St. Patrick’s Day of the year 2016 – I am sitting here all upset and aggravated and decided to share a bit of my grief with the world. Sometime ago I’ve found out how impossible it is to move account from one person to another. I wrote about it here. This bit of the story will mainly focus on getting the new account with Eir Ireland which itself has been quite adventurous… and is not over yet.

I came back home from work on Monday the 15th of the February 2016 and I was told by my beloved wife that the Internet is down. I rang Eir and found out that they have cut the line because (as we have previously agreed) our flatmate applied for his account to be closed month ago. Great – I thought – now we will be able to sign up for our own account and we will be able to get on like nothing ever happened. I was told by the Eir representative that 24 hours must first pass from the moment that one account was closed to the moment that we are able to apply for a new account for the same address. No problem. I called Eir the very next day full of hope and joy. Sales rep (a girl which name I won’t be able to recall) listened to me very carefully but when I’ve mentioned that I will need a static IP for my e-mail server she said that I will have to talk to business sales rep. She asked if it was ok for her to transfer me to one and put me on hold.

This is how I was connected to a guy named Patrick. Patrick was very polite and well mannered. He answered all my questions and gave me very detailed information about everything I needed to know. I was told that I will be better off signing up for a business account rather than the residential one. I expressed my doubts about it because I do not own a business in Ireland (or anywhere else for that matter). I was told that I do not need to be a business owner to be eligible for the Eir Business account. I asked him specifically about the bills and the amount on the bills and he said that I will only pay approximately €5 more than if I applied for the residential like and that the whole bill will be around €50 including vat. I was surprised but after a while he talked me into signing up for a business account. He said that our phone line will be active within 24 hours, he asked me for a e-mail address – he told me that I will get the information sent to this account as soon as my phone line is active. Just to let you know at this point – exactly a month since this conversation took place and I’ve never received a single e-mail from Eir till today… He told me that the modem / router will be “overnighted” to me with a courier company and that I should have it soon. This has raised my hopes because I was told that people are waiting up to 2 weeks to get their internet up and running. I was told my router will be here and I will have my router here tomorrow? Nice – I thought – I don’t really know why people are complaining about Eir – this is a sound company… The conversation with Patrick was long and very productive. I was quite pleased.


I used my XT894 with Android 6.0.1 as an access point, got Internet connected over the 3G network and decided to use that as an emergency broadband for the house. Not great speeds. Lot of problems… but it worked. Few days later I’ve shared my opinion about the Three.ie mobile broadband on Twitter…


2 days later (on Thursday the 18th of February 2016) very early in the morning I’ve received a text message from a company called “Nightline”. The text message basically stated “we have your router and it will be delivered to you today”. Since they did not indicated when exactly “today” will they deliver the router my wife has changed her plans for the day and stayed home just to make sure that she is here to sign for the package when it arrives. She was waiting all day for nothing. Package has never arrived. The very next morning (Friday, 19th February 2016) I have received another text message from “Nightline”. It was exactly the same as the one I received previously so I’ve contacted “Nightline” thru their website form and was told “Sorry – not our fault – the delivery truck broke down. It will be delivered today – definitely”. Very unreliable service. Very unpleasant situation… The conversation which took place over the e-mail was not great either. My wife has yet again decided to alter her plans and stay home to sign for the package.


“S**t happens” I thought and went to work that day. I should have my internet back tonight when I come back home – I thought. But I had a gut feeling that something is not up to the snuff and I’ve asked the @eircare on Twitter if what I thought was correct… Unfortunately I was right. I was told that since I’ve applied for the broadband on the 17th (I actually applied on the 16th but 24 hours must pass for the order to be processed…) I will need to wait 5 working days which meant that I won’t be able to use the Internet till Wednesday the 24th of February 2016.


Later that afternoon, I have received a text message from my wife stating that she has picked up the router. I came back from work and opened the box. Oh no… – was my first thought. Why you ask? Well… Before e-fibre was available in our area we had a “normal” Eircom Broadband. The modem was a hanging on a wall Zyxel. Then we got the e-fibre broadband. Our modem was replaced with wall hanging F1000 e-fibre modem / router. Now I’ve received a F2000 e-fibre modem / router… and guess what? It’s a free standing modem that cannot be hanged… I have my “Internet” corner designed in such way that there is no space for free standing router. There is no shelf or a cupboard near it. 2 screws in the wall. That’s all… Tried contacting @eircare at Twitter but they can offer only a limited amount of advice…


In the meanwhile I’ve discovered few other “bonuses” that the F2000 modem provided… The admin password was limited to 20 chars… The NAT (or should I say NAT hairpinning) wasn’t working correctly – which meant that my external services were accessible for everyone from outside my LAN but I could not access them… and the port forwarding was a major pain in the butt to set up (and was not working correctly when was set up). I called eir and asked them for advice. They told me to keep using the F1000 router – which I really gladly did. I’ve configured F1000 to my liking and kept waiting for the 24th of February. Finally it happened. Internet was back. I was delighted – right up to the moment when I’ve checked my speed… I was only getting 15mbsp download / 5.5 mbps upload. I called eir and asked them to check what is the story. They changed my profile from 15/6 to 25/6 and told me I should be getting my usual speed 24 hours from now. Fine. No problem. Not sure why but I had a gut feeling that the guy that was setting it up for us didn’t really know how to do it. He told me he needs to “consult a colleague” and put me on hold. I had a hunch… I was right again. 24 hours later I was still only getting 14.3 mbps download and 5.9 mbps upload speeds. I wasn’t happy.

Called them again the very next day or the day after that cannot remember. They were trying to help. Kept putting me on hold. Kept “consulting mentor” and “trying something else” but no matter what they did they were unable to get the speed back. I was after work. My wife cooked dinner while I was on the phone with Eir technicians but it took over 2 hours, maybe 3… The speed didn’t changed and the only thing that I achieved was to talk them into sending the field technician to check the line as one of the technicians said that the only thing that could be a problem was “a bit of voltage on the line. The eir technician took down my mobile number and told me that “IF the field technician will need to access my premises they will give me a call half an hour before”. At the end of the call I was deadly tired, hungry and frustrated. I ate my dinner and it was nearly a bed time for me as tomorrow was another working day. Wasted my entire evening trying to sort it out.

After a few days – while I was at work I got a miss call from my wife. This is a sign for me “call me – something is happening”. She rarely calls me when I am at work because I don’t like to waste my bosses’ time with personal calls. Usually I call home during a tea and / or lunch break. If she calls me – it means something is up. I excused myself from the office and called her back. “The eir technician is in the house and checking the line… You were suppose to call me and let me know if they were coming…”. I was, yes… but then HE never called me so I was just as surprised as she was… She gave the phone to the technician who told me that the line and the router that I am using are 100% fine.

In the meanwhile I’ve received first letter from eir… with my first name misspelled. I rang them and asked for the name to be corrected. Later one of the eir staff on Twitter confirmed that it is now spelled correctly.


I was so desperate I even tried the online chat…. With extremely poor results…


I tried again at later date… Same thing… Chat seems dead and buried – just like the eir “community” forum where more adventures like this one here can be found… People complaining because they were charged more then they should be, people complaining about the speeds… etc.

I called them few days later in the evening. The same story. Wasted 3 – 4 hours on the phone. At some stage I was standing next to the router for over 30 minutes with my (quite heavy) laptop in my hand. I couldn’t put it away because of the LAN cable length. Nightmare. In the meanwhile technician was “trying something” and “consulting his mentor”. I think it was 21:30 hours when we have finished. I remember that the technician said that he has ran out of ideas plus he shouldn’t really spend that much time with one customer (some sort of internal policies) and that his shift finished 20 minutes ago so he is unable to help me anymore because he should be home already. His big solution to the problem was for me to reset the F2000 modem, plug it in instead of my F1000 modem. Plug my laptop using the LAN cable and then give them a call.

I had a few very difficult days at work. It’s one of the busiest times of the year for us right now so I kind of gave up with the eir helpline calls. I gave them a week, maybe 8 – 9 days. In the meanwhile I’ve purchased 10 meters long cat6 LAN cable on e-bay so that I don’t have to stand like the freakin ejeet next to the router. Checked the speed again. No change. Finally last week I’ve decided I needed to call them again. It was a long weekend for me as I was off from work for 3 days (Saturday, Sunday and Monday 12th – 15th of March) so I called them on Friday (11th March) after work to have it done so I don’t have to think about it over the weekend. Plus I remember that they were announcing that their call center is getting some sort of maintenance / updates.


So I called them. I was on the phone with the technician (I think) till nearly 22:00 hours. At the end of the call he said he has no idea what’s wrong. I am connected to the correct port, I am set up with the right profile. Everything seems fine – but I am not getting the speed. He confirmed my mobile number and said that he is sending some sort of “advanced field technician to check the fibre cabinet”. And that the technician will call me if he needs access to premises.
Weekend came and went… well almost… On Monday I’ve received another bit of correspondence from eir… My first bill… €129.74… WOW! I was shocked… Wait what?! HOW?! WHY?! So I looked closer… There were 4 figures on the bill

1. Broadband from March to April 2016 – €29.79
2. Line rental fee from March to April 2016 – €20.96
3. Connection charges – “one time” fee – €20.65
4. Part period charges (charges for broadband and line rental from the period February to March 2016 – €34.08

Those figures summed up nicely gave a total of €105.48 on which 23% VAT was thrown in and the total figure was €129.74. This told me one thing. My next bill WILL NOT be around €50 as promised but more in the region of €61… How? Well First two figures mentioned above are the monthly charges that are constant on my bill. The next two are just one time connection charge and payment for the period from before my first bill. So… If you sum up figures 1 and 2 you get €50.75 and you have to throw 23% VAT on top of that… So nearly 1/4 of the €50.75 (€11.67) will be added on top of that. That told me that my next bill will be €62.42… That’s not what I was told.

So I called eir’s 1901 number and spoke to a very polite but not very bright young woman (I think Stephanie was her name) who tried to tell me that I was definitely wrong and that the sales rep told me it would be €50 excluding VAT and that she does not understand what do I want from her… At some stage I got upset and I raised my voice for which I apologized later. I know Stephanie is not responsible for my troubles. She is not the cause of them either. It’s internal chaos, lack of the information flow and general mess that are responsible for my trouble… She promised me that she has escalated my case and that the manager will listen to the tape from the archives (my original call with Patrick) and he will call me within 24 hours. Monday – my last day of the long weekend was ruined. Who of you would like to receive a €130 bill when you’re expecting €80 at the most…

I went to work on Tuesday, I was sure that at some stage I will get the call from the eir’s manager and I will be told it was a mistake and everything will get sorted. At some stage I got a horrible migraine… Took couple of ibuprofen pills but that didn’t help. I took couple more but after an hour I asked my boss if I could finish bit earlier today as I am not feeling very well. One of my co-workers gave me a lift home around 16:00 hours.

After I got home I’ve noticed 2 eir vans parked in front of my house. My wife told me that these 2 gentleman arrived several minutes earlier and were testing the line. Very polite guys. Very reasonable guys. I found out few things from them and when we were chatting one of them realized it was something he did in the past that’s causing all the trouble. He was sent to diagnose a technical issue and when he was doing that he disabled “vectoring” on the cabinet because it was “bringing the whole box down”. They both said that they will write a report and that eir will have to send someone to deal with this issue.

Vectoring – as I was told – is a kind of a signal booster that is reducing the amount of noise on the line and is boosting speed. Without the vectoring present my line would not get the full speed that it should be getting. It should be added every (if I remember correctly) 700 meters from the cabinet and since I live about 950 meters from the cabinet the vectoring SHOULD be present but isn’t.

Just to add – I did not received a call from the eir manager so I rang 1901 and asked what’s the story. This time I was told it takes up to 48 hours for the manager to listen to the tape and that he will call me definitely tomorrow.

I was off today (Wednesday the 16th of the March 2016). I was cooking, attending house chores and messing with stuff. At some stage I wrote few things on Twitter. One of those things was:


And then added:


That of course was met with a prompt reply from one of their Twitter staff. Which told me how very sorry she was that I feel this way… It’s so nice of them (and somewhat condescending) when they feel sorry for me… It really helps me a lot that somewhere out there is a person that feels sorry… No not really… Anyway. What happened after nearly blew my mind. I was basically told that “eir cannot guarantee speeds”, that I should check “Terms and conditions” and that they cannot help me but they advise me to spend more time calling 1901 and allowing technicians more time to troubleshoot this… At this point I stopped the conversation, removed eir and eircare as my followers / following on Twitter and moved back to the house chores. I allowed them at least 20 hours of my time during which I was on hold or performing some troubleshooting instructions. My wife has changed her plans twice because of unreliable courier company they use. I have been pushed over from one technician to another. I allowed access to field team twice now. I had 25 mbps download on the same line and I was told by the sales rep that “I will get even more as they will pump speed at me”. I was lied to about the amount on my bill AND I AM THE ONE TO BLAME because THEY cannot guarantee speeds and because I should read “T&C” more carefully?

I’ve been waiting till nearly 16:20 for the eir’s manager to call me. Around that time I said to myself enough waiting and I’ve called 1901 and asked the customer representative what’s the story. I was put on hold and lo and behold – then next time I’ve heard a human’s voice it was a manager… Lee. Lee seemed to be in a rush – maybe he was already thinking about green Guiness… maybe he was just annoyed that such a insignificant person like myself was wrecking his head with such a minor thing as a overcharged bill – anyway… He was not very polite. At some stage he barked at me and said “I will listen to the tape now” and put me on hold. The conversation that I had with Patrick took over 20 minutes. Manager came back on the line maybe 90 – 120 seconds later and told me he will put me onto “a new billing system” which meant I will be paying €49.50 per month and not €62… He then asked me for my direct debit information. I was reluctant to give it to him but he said that to avail on this special offer I need to set up direct debit… Before I gave him this info I was also asked if I was “a sole trader or limited”. At this stage I told him that I am not a business owner. I told him that I was told that I do not have to be a business owner to be eligible for the eir business broadband account. He asked me who told me that. I started listing eir Twitter staff, eir business representative, Patrick… He said they were all wrong. Next thing I knew he gave me a 8 digit order number ending with a letter and told me to call 1901 in the next 24 hours because he closed my business account and I will be switched to a residential one… You can add another thing they blame me for now… I was treated like a garbage by some impatient and rude youngster who got the managers position because he can blow people off and (I bet) staff is afraid of him… Tomorrow is a St. Patrick’s day – I doubt that the 1901 lines will be open but I will check. For now this is the end of the story… but it will be continued in the future. You draw the conclusions from it yourself.



P.S. I am pretty sure that they feel sorry that it happened to me and that I feel this way…

I am quite pissed off with Eir Ireland right now…

This is a re-post from here: https://andrzejl.eu:30303/wordpress/2015/11/10/i-am-quite-pissed-off-with-eir-ireland-right-now/

Some people could not access the original post due to “security settings”.

So the story goes like this…

2.5 years ago 3 of us (my fiancée, my colleague and myself) decided to move in together to save up on rent and bills. Plan was great and worked fantastic. I was paying the rent and rubbish (we shared the price of coz) from my bank account. Flatmate was paying for the eircom internet bill from his account. My fiancée didn’t have any bills in her name coming to the house. 2 years+ later due to many factors flatmate decided to move to a bigger city where he works now and we have decided that this is a great idea as we are planning to get married soonish. Everything worked out fantastic. 2 weeks before we were to get married flatmate moved out. No fuss. No arguing. No BS. 3 adults were going separate way. He is still our good friend and we have many great memories gathered over the period of 2.5 year. Peachy…

Not so much. Why? Well – since flatmate was moving out and broadband from eircom was in his name I thought that its a good idea to move the broadband bill onto my fiancé’s name. I did my research and found out that in the past the current account holder had to actually close down the account for the address and 24 hours later a new account could be added with this address. You then had to wait for the eircom’s router which was sent to you via An-Post – whole operation took more less 2 weeks. 2 weeks of no internet? That’s a long long time… I’ve decided to check if something changed in that matter and while at work I got one of the eircom’s bills and found a contact number. It was 1890 something or 1850 something. I called the number and super extremely polite girl told me that I have reached eircom for business customers service and that I need to get eircom’s personal account customer service but in the same time she said that this way of “transferring” the account is a thing of the past. All I have to do is call the 1901 number from landline or mobile and then press 3 when asked. I will then reach one of the personal customer service departments and they will transfer the account from my flatmate’s name / bank details to my fiancé’s name and bank details. Both – current account holder and the future account holder have to be present. It will take maximum 24 hours for the details to change. I will continue to pay the bills from my bank account where I would have set up a direct debit. Bills will kept coming to the house but with my fiancé’s name on them. Account would continue to exist. No internet interruptions would have to appear. Fantastic… right?

Wrong. Today flatmate came in to deal with few final things and drop off a key. One of these final things was to transfer the eircom’s account as planned. I was sure it will take 3 mins tops. I did my reasearch. Right? Wrong…

We called the 1901 number and we got the helpline. First person that we spoke to was a weird young girl who didn’t seemed to care. I told her what the story is. She told us we cannot transfer the account to another name because she can only change the first name and not the last name on the account. I was also told that its impossible to transfer account to someone who is not a member of the immediate family. Wait! What?! I told her that I’ve spoke to the Eir representative sometime ago and they said its done in 3 – 5 minutes and the transfer of ownership takes 24 hours top. She said “she must ask someone” and left me on hold. After she came back online she was even less pleasant. Ok… I have gotten very much annoyed and asked to be transfered to the girls manager. Instead I landed in the “Cancellation” department after hanging on hold for a minute or two.

This time I got a professional customer service representative. Stewart. Very polite. Excellent phone manners. I felt like he tried to help me… but at the end I’ve heard the same story. “I am sorry but…“. Yes I know. They are always sorry. They are a customer service representatives. They are not really responsible for the issues I am having. I know that and this is why I am trying not to be rude to them. Its like being rude to a waiter after you’ve received a non-edible food. Chef prepared it. Waitress only delivered it. Waitress has nothing to do with food quality. Waitress can only pass my messages to the chef but she cannot really influence the food making process. He / she is a face behind the food and they are responsible for the way the food (message) reaches you but beside this – they are just messengers really. Do not shoot the messengers. I told Stewart the truth. The fact that he is sorry is in no way going to make me feel better when I am waiting for approximately two weeks for my new eircom account to be activated and for my router / internet password to be delivered. Even if its not 2 weeks but just 6 days. It’s still a very long time to stay offline. He offered me to transfer my call to the “Billing” department. I said fine.

Another person listened to our story and was sorry but… I was offered to be transfered to the “Loyalty” department. I said fine – go ahead.

At this point my flatmate and my fiancée started to laugh because they were sick and tired of me trying to explain the situation to another customer service representative.

I spoke to Amy in the “Loyalty” department. I must say that Eir does hires a phone pros in their helplines. Most of the time they (I spoke to 5 different people and 75% of that) were making a fantastic job as customer service. Really. No its not a sarcasm. Like I said – just because Eir has stupid policies and a broken database / computer system where the customer service representative is faced with grayed out “Last name” box which he / she cannot edit it does not mean that I cannot appreciate that their representatives are doing great job trying to “soften the blow” and keeping me on as a customer. Amy works in “Loyalty” department. Loyalty for me means – a mutual respect. I am a loyal customer. I was paying my half of the Eir bill for the last 2.5 years. All I need is for them to help me transfer the account to my Fiancé’s name / banking details and to provide me with uninterrupted internet connection. I asked Amy if leaving me hanging for almost (or even over) 2 weeks with no internet is their definition of loyalty and what stops me from closing the account today and opening another one with Vodafone 5 minutes later. Her reply was… precious and actually quite brilliant. “Early cancellation fee – €150”. Turns out that even tho we have signed up 2 years contract with Eir when the 2 years have passed and we didn’t canceled our contract was extended for another year. I am not saying its a bad thing. They didn’t just disconnected us from the internet – they have extended our contract for a year. IF we want to cancel the broadband flatmate has to call Eir customer service 30 days prior to 19th of February 2016 year and let them know that I want to cancel. IF we decide to cancel today – we have to pay the early cancellation fee. IF however flatmate was to move the account (Eir broadband) from current address to the new address Amy would make a note in the file to not to charge us extra for cancellation because he wasn’t canceling but moving the account to the new address. First of all – flatmate is planning to go with UPC (Virgin) broadband in his new apartment so Eir account will be needed there like a saddle on a pig. Second thing is – if he moved the account I am (again) in the position where I have no internet for approximately 14 days so its of NO help to me whatsoever. Amy said that she was sorry… but that’s how things work.

I thanked Amy very much, wished her a good day and disconnected the call. 43 minutes. 4 people. 1 company. And we were not happy.

Do you see how they narrowed the options for us?

– Cannot change the last name
– Cannot transfer account if the person is not family
– Cannot close the account without paying €150 cancellation fees
– There is no simple way to transfer ownership so that the service / payments continue without at least few days of interruptions

After all this we have decided to keep the Eir account in my flatmate’s name. He will keep paying for it till the February 2016 and then he will cancel it to avoid the cancellation fee. I will send him the money each month via online banking. €53. So basically I will be paying for the internet connection from his account. Yes – I know. RIDICULOUS. And this brings me to the second part of the conclusions we have came up with. We are not sure if we are going to sign up for Eir e-fibre broadband in the February 2016. They might be the best option in this God forsaken town – yes. But I will wait and see. Maybe UPC (Virgin) will be available here by then, maybe I will go with Vodafone broadband. I will do my research and find out. I will do a better research then when I was checking for “how easy it is to transfer ownership of the Eir broadband”. And even if they are the best option – I might not want to give them my business after the left me hanging for 14 days with no internet connection because of a stupid policies / broken database system. We are sorry but… loyalty means something to us. We are paying customers. When we want something – the last thing we want to hear is “I am sorry but…”.

That’s all. Rant mode off.